Kim Jong-il, 1941-2011: Another Psychotic Dictator Bites The Dust
So, North Korean dictator and crazy son of a bitch Kim Jong-il finally kicked the bucket at 69 (according to then-Soviet records of his birth), ending a period of rule over his country that had lasted since his father’s death in 1994 with one uneventful – and, if American and South Korean intelligence is to be believed, evidently unexpected – heart attack whilst taking a “train tour” through his fiefdom.
Call me weird for saying this, but while I hated the guy and would most certainly think that he was rotting in hell as I write this if I believed in such things, I nevertheless found myself hoping that his death would have been more…entertaining.
Think about it, if you will. Is a heart attack whilst riding on a train really a fitting death for a guy who declared his ex-dictator dad to be “Eternal President” of North Korea four years after said father’s death, had a giant pyramid-shaped hotel built in his nation’s capital of Pyôngyang to the point of being a three hundred meter-plus tall concrete shell and then left abandoned for nearly twenty years, and once kidnapped a South Korean filmmaker to force him to create a crappy Godzilla-type movie for the North’s lackluster cinema industry?
In my opinion, it isn’t. The man was such a lunatic, expressing inanity miles beyond anything competing weirdos like deposed late Libyan leader Muammar al-Gaddafi ever espoused, that I was honestly expecting his death and the days leading up to it to be a spectacle far beyond anything his “mass games” could have ever manufactured. My expectations were mainly based in my thought that there would be a hilarious confluence of press releases and statements in those aforementioned final days of his life, with intelligence suggesting his imminent demise receiving regular hilarious replies from North Korea’s propaganda mill that would doubtlessly make claims of another contrived Jong-il “feat of strength”, such as his supposed golfing abilities.
Alas, like Mick Jagger once said, you can’t always get what you want. I do fear, however, that we just might find that “great successor” Kim Jong-un will unfortunately rule with a degree of brutality that makes his antecedents look like softies.